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Things I've learned about strokes:

They are God’s way of telling you that he’s still in charge.

You will recover at his pace no matter how impatient you are.

Little electrical circuits run around in the top of your head. They
stop and shock the hell out of you every now and then to get your
attention. Tylenol takes care of the subsequent headaches.

You play little math games and memory games trying to recover
the mental edge that you have lost.

It’s tough to wipe your a$$ left-handed. Even tougher right-handed
with no feelings in your fingers and a club at the end of your arm.

When you have to take a leak, your member is difficult to find and hold,
as the stroke has caused it to go as limp/numb as your side and other
parts. At 85, it wasn’t getting any use anyway and had been abused most
of its life. Also, at this point, you realize that Lasix is a tool of the devil.

When you try and eat with a fork the first time, your food is sometimes
flipped over your right shoulder. Yorkies like rice and gravy, and wives
break out laughing when you tell them about it.

You watch carefully every step you take so you won’t trip over a leaf,
or any other small article as you feel as though you are falling forward
at all times.

Physical therapists have as much patience as your wife.

Nobody thinks you should drive except you.

Neurologists do MRIs and ultrasounds, then send you home reminding
you to take your aspirin and Plavix, and come back in 90 days. I guess
they see dozens of stroke patients a day, but they don’t realize this
one was mine.

If you don’t have a sense of humor, you’ll go nuts.

2A - Week 7

--Week 7 Top Games--

1.) West Marshall @ Roland Story - Both undefeated in district play. West Marshall will be favorites here, but a Roland Story upset would really change things in D7.

Games that may mix up top 4 spots in their district:

OABCIG @ ELC
Cresco @ Clear Lake
DSM Christian @ Clarinda
Spirit Lake @ Clarion GD
Mid Prairie @ Centerville

--2A TOP 10--

1a.) CLGLR (6-0) - Beat Unity Christian 39-7

2a.) Williamsburg (6-0) - Beat Mid Prairie 56-7

3.) Spirit Lake (6-0) - Beat ELC 45-0

4.) West Marshall (6-0) - Close 13-12 win over PCM

5.) OABCIG (5-1) - Beat Pocahontas Area 62-0

6.) West Lyon (4-2) - Beat Okoboji 49-7

7.) Osage (4-2) - Beat New Hampton 21-8

8.) New Hampton (5-1) - Lost to Osage 21-8

9.) Waukon (3-3) - Beat Wahlert 28-6

10.) Wahlert (4-2) - Lost to Waukon 28-6

Latest Week 7 Poll-A-Palooza

The polls are out, along with the official RPIs on the IHSAA website, so roll your dice and take your chances! Here's the first installment of the composite list from the Des Moines Register, Cedar Rapids Gazette, Radio Iowa, and AP polls:

Class 5A​
Class 4A​
Class 3A​
Class 2A​
1Pleasant Valley (38)Lewis Central (40)Harlan (38)Williamsburg (39)
2Dowling (36)Xavier (35)Humboldt (37)Central Lyon (37)
3Ankeny (34)Waverly-Shell Rock (33)ADM (32)T3: West Marshall (30)
4Southeast Polk (28)Carlisle (25.5)Mt. Vernon (29)T3: Spirit Lake (30)
5CR Prairie (23.5)Iowa City Liberty (23)Nevada (23)OABCIG (24)
6Ankeny Centennial (19.5)Indianola (21.5)Independence (20)West Lyon (18)
7CR Kennedy (11)Bondurant-Farrar (13)Solon (17)Greene County (17)
8Cedar Falls (10)Newton (8)North Polk (12)Osage (11)
9Iowa City High (9)Spencer (7)Creston (7)T9: New Hampton (6.5)
10Davenport West (8)T10: North Scott (6)Hampton-Dumont (3.5)T9: Clarion-G-D (6.5)
T10: Ft. Madison (6)
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Sleepy Joe and Pootin

Think shitty pants can handle this one?

SBLive Iowa Power 25 high school football rankings (Week 6)

By Kevin White

Some odd reason, they did believe ADM is worthy of a top 25 ranking?????

1. West Des Moines Dowling (5-1)​

Maroons ran for 189 yards, including 107 by CJ Phillip, in last week’s win over Johnston.

2. Ankeny (5-1)​

After slow start to the season, Hawks’ offense clicking now. Had 450 total yards vs. Valley last week.

3. Southeast Polk (5-1)​

Rams have another challenge ahead this week as they host No. 15 Cedar Rapids Prairie.

4. Pleasant Valley (6-0)​

Spartans held a proud Bettendorf program to just 182 total yards in last week’s win.

5. Council Bluffs Lewis Central (7-0)​

Quarterback Braylon Kammrad has 13 touchdown passes this season and one interception.

6. Harlan Community (5-1)​

Kicker Stephen Leinen leads all 11-player athletes with 35 touchbacks this season.

7. Waverly-Shell Rock (6-0)​

Go-Hawks held Marion to 157 total yards in last week’s win.

8. Cedar Rapids Xavier (6-0)​

Saints have allowed 14 total points in their last 20 quarters of play.

9. Central Lyon/George-Little Rock (6-0)​

Class 2-A Lions have been dominant and some quality programs in northwest Iowa.

10. Williamsburg (6-0)​

Derek Weisskopf shares the 2-A lead in interceptions with five.

11. Ankeny Centennial (4-2)​

Playing one of the state’s toughest schedules, Jaguars riding high after four straight wins.

12. Mount Vernon (6-0)​

Joey Rhomberg averages 233 passing yards per game, which leads Class 3-A.

13. Cedar Rapids Praire (5-1)
Hawks will need to be at their best Friday as they travel to No. 3 Southeast Polk.

14. Indianola (5-1)​

In big win over Norwalk, Drew Kingery caught 11 passes for 235 yards and three scores, and threw a 35-yard TD pass.

15. Humboldt (6-0)​

In key district win over North Polk, Lance Coon shouldered the load with 33 carries for 119 yards and a score.

16. Spirit Lake (6-0)​

Sophomore Bode Higgins is averaging 129.0 yards per game on the ground at 7.0 yards per carry.

17. West Des Moines Valley (3-3)​

Tigers probably lead discussion of state’s best 3-3 teams.

18. Western Dubuque (4-2)​

Bobcats have their eye on a Week 8 meeting at No. 7 Waverly-Shell Rock.

19. Iowa City Liberty (5-1)​

Lightning meet a 6-0 Fort Madison team this week looking to make a name for itself.

20. North Scott (4-2)​

Kyler Gerardy has thrown for 796 yards and rushed for 647 this season for the Lancers.

21. Cedar Falls (4-2)​

Drake Gelhaus carried 40 times for 186 yards and three TDs in Tigers’ win over Cedar Rapids Kennedy.

22. Carlisle (5-1)​

Wildcats are at No. 14 Indianola this week in another big Class 4-A, District 5 matchup.

23. Urbandale (4-2)​

All-stater Cole Garwood was credited with 15 solo tackles in last week’s loss to Centennial.

24. Waukee Northwest (3-3)​

With Ankeny Centennial, Ankeny and Urbandale, no time to celebrate last week’s win over Sioux City East.

25. Cedar Rapids Kennedy (5-1)​

After first loss, Cougars look to pick themselves up vs. one of 5-A’s darlings this week, 6-0 Davenport West.
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